Five Ways To Leave A Fanfiction
by Hidden By Shadow
Summary: Inspired by the program '101 Ways To Leave A Gameshow'.  Oneshot.


5 Ways To Leave A Fanfiction

DISCLAIMER: The author does not own Resident Evil. It is owned by Capcom. The author also does not own the BBC show which inspired this fic, 101 Ways To Leave A Gameshow, that is owned by the BBC.

The room which Albert Wesker found himself in was pitch black. From what Wesker could hear, there were at least five other people in the room with him. The lights flickered on, temporarily blinding Wesker.

"Welcome everyone, to my latest fanfiction." A male voice rang out. Wesker turned his head to see a television set into the wall. On the television was a man sitting in a black leather chair in a room painted white. "I am your host, Hidden By Shadow, and this is Five Ways To Leave A Fanfiction." Wesker tilted his head slightly.

"We're in yet another fanfiction?" Wesker groaned. To his left, William Birkin stared at the screen, angrily.

"At least we're not in yet another yaoi fic." William murmured. To his right, Wesker watched as Alexia and Alfred Ashford stood up, shakily.

"I can see that you're all waking up, now it's time to start the game." Shadow said, happily. In the room, the final two people, James Marcus and Oswald Spencer came around. "The prize for the winner, is their life. For the rest of you, the only thing you will find is death by embarassment. And other methods."

The six found themselves in a typical quizshow studio setting, with podums for them and a place for Hidden By Shadow to stand.

"Our first round is called High Flyers." Shadow announced, "The game works like this: each round, I'll give you the answers to a question. One of them will be wrong. Each of you will choose a unique answer. The person with the wrong answer will leave the show, and life." A couple of people swallowed nervously. "If there is a tie for an answer, you'll face a tiebreak question to decide who claims it." Wesker watched as a couple of people gripped their podiums. "High Flyers is where the wrong answer will get the contestant fired. Off the side of a tower and into a spike pit thirty stories below. Good luck." Wesker doubted Shadow's statement was in any way sincere.

"The answers are: Harry Mason, James Sunderland, Heather Mason, Henry Townshend, Alex Shephard and Travis Grady. The question: Which of these have not starred in multiple Silent Hill games as the main character?" Shadow turned to the assembled Umbrella employees, "We start alphabetically, Alexia what is your answer?" Alexia stared straight ahead of her.

"Heather Mason." Alexia said, keeping her voice as level as she could. Shadow turned to her brother.

"Alfred, your answer?"

"James Sunderland." Alfred said, just barely managing to avoid sounding hysterical. William Birkin followed him in giving his answer, 'Alex Shephard'.

"Dr Marcus, your answer is?" Shadow asked.

"Harry Mason." James answered. The next person to answer was Oswald Spencer.

"Travis Grady." Spencer stated. Finally, it was Wesker's turn to answer.

"Henry Townshend."

"Okay, you all have your answers, now it's time to take your places on the gangway." Shadow stated. The six stood lined up on a metal gangway. From what Wesker could see, the gangway was split into six sections and was designed to tip one section.

"Six answers, one of them is wrong." Shadow stated, standing off to the side. "The first right answer is." Wesker stared at the edge of the platform he was standing on, as he was sure they all were. "Travis Grady, Spencer you are safe." Shadow said. Wesker heard Spencer whooping and clapping in enjoyment as he walked away from his platform. "The second right answer is." Wesker stared ahead of him at the clear sky. "Alex Shephard, Birkin, you too are safe." Birkin sighed in relief as he walked back to safety. "The third right answer is." In Wesker's opinion, Shadow was having way too much fun with this. "Henry Townshend, Wesker, you're safe." Wesker joined Birkin and Spencer at the side. Wesker looked at the three remaining. By now, they were all sweating a little bit. "The fourth right answer is." Unbelievably, considering this was a matter of life and death, Shadow was smiling. "Heather Mason, Alexia, you're safe." When Alexia joined them, it wasn't relief that Wesker saw on her face, but dread. Her brother was still at risk and there was an equal chance that he would live as there was of his death. "Two answers remain. One of them is wrong and will cause our first death." Shadow announced. "I shall reveal the wrong answer in five." Wesker watched as Alexia closed her eyes and crossed her fingers. "Four." Birkin stared intently at Doctor Marcus. "Three." Spencer too was staring intently at James. "Two." Wesker looked at both of the men standing there. "One." Alexia screwed her eyes tightly shut. "Wrong answer." Wesker wished that Shadow would just hurry up and finish. "Harry Mason." Alexia opened her eyes as the platform below James Marcus dropped, sending the scientist down into the spike pit, his screams echoing down after him. "One down, five remain." Shadow stated, facing all of them. "We move on to the next round, Balls Of Fire."

Wesker stared at Shadow as he explained the way the round would end this time. "Above each of the platforms is a spiked ball that is on fire. There are five spiked fiery balls. One of them will drop down onto someone, crushing them and imolating them at the same time." Shadow explained. Wesker stared at the balls hanging onto the ceiling intently, praying that one of them would not fall onto him. "The answers this time are: Bugsy Malone, The Silence Of The Lambs, Contact, Panic Room and Hannibal. The question: Which of these films starred Jodie Foster?" Shadow turned to Alexia first.

"The Silence Of The Lambs." Alexia answered nervously. Shadow turned to Alfred.

"Bugsy Malone." Alfred answered, even more nervously than his sister. Shadow turned to Birkin.

"Hannibal." William answered. Shadow turned to Spencer.

"Contact." Spencer said, confidently. Shadow finally turned to Wesker.

"Panic Room." Wesker answered. Shadow smiled, making Wesker wonder exactly why Shadow was smiling when his business was causing their deaths.

"Five answers, one of them is wrong." Shadow started, "Take your places, please."

Wesker looked above him at the fiery ball of detah pearched above his head.

"The first right answer, is." Shadow started. Wesker was now convinced he must be in Hell and that Shadow must be the devil incarnate. Otherwise, why was he having such fun torturing them? "Bugsy Malone, Alfred, you're safe." Shadow announced. Alfred crouched suddenly before realising he was safe and scuttling off away from the balls of death. "The second correct answer is." Shadow began again. "Contact, Spencer, you're through to the next round." Shadow announced happily. Wesker groaned. If there was one person he wanted to fail, it was Spencer. "The third correct answer is." Wesker wished Shadow would hurry up and quit stalling. "The Silence Of The Lambs, Alexia you're safe." Alexia screamed as she hurried away from the fire. Wesker realised that no matter what happened now, he'd lost. Either his life or his best friend. "I will reveal the incorrect answer in five." Shadow started the countdown. "Four." Wesker look one final look at the ball above him. "Three." Wesker turned to look at William, who was staring like a rabbit caught in the headlights at the ball above him. "Two." Wesker looked towards the sky. "One." Wesker shut his eyes, praying that it would be a quick death. "Wrong answer." Wesker mentally said goodbye to everything he loved. "Hannibal." Wesker's eyes snapped open and he turned in time to see William meet the ball with his face. "Wesker, you're through to the next round." Shadow announced happily.

"Round three – the crusher, and the last round before the final." Shadow stated, leaning on his podium. "Four answers, three are correct. One is wrong. The answers are: Cloud, Squall, Zidane and Tidus. The question: Which of these Final Fantasy characters appears in the first Kingdom Hearts game. Alexia?" Alexia paused of a bit before answering.

"Cloud." Alexia said eventually. Shadow moved on to Alfred.

"Tidus." Alfred answered. Spencer was next.

"Zidane." Spencer answered. Which meant that Wesker was left with one answer.

"Squall." Wesker stated, holding back all emotion from his voice. Shadow smiled, making Wesker wish that he had his gun.

"Underneath us is a room with four walls. Two of these walls can be pushed together to crush anything in the room." Shadow explained, "The person with the wrong answer will be going in. The rest of you go through to the final." Wesker stared through the see-through trap door into the room below him. "The first correct answer which will take someone to the final is." Shadow started. Wesker stared at the other people, who were all sweating. "Cloud, Alexia, you're safe." Alexia walked off to the side, staring at her brother. "The second correct answer is." Alfred shut his eyes, praying his name would be called. "Tidus, Alfred, you're safe." Alfred ran and hugged his sister. "Two answers left. One is correct, the other is not." Shadow stated. "I shall reveal the incorrect answer in five." Wesker stared at Spencer, wishing that it was Spencer who would drop this time. "Four." Wesker turned away, not wanting to look at the man who had ruined the lives of so many people, himself included. "Three." Wesker shut his eyes, once more his world plunged into darkness. "Two." Wesker braced himself, sure that his number was up. "One." Wesker readied himself for the inevitable. "Wrong answer." Wesker waited for what seemed like an eternity. "Zidane." Wesker listened as Spencer screamed as he fell through the trap door. Wesker opened his eyes as the trapdoor shut and the sounds of screaming gave way to the sounds of snapping bones. "Congratulations Albert, you're in the final!" Shadow shouted. Wesker wanted nothing more than to throttle Shadow until he stopped breathing.

Shadow stood at his podium, smiling broadly at the remaining contestants. They were not smiling back. Alexia was staring at the ground, her eyes unblinking. Alfred was clutching his podium so tight Albert thought it would snap and Wesker himself was staring at the sunset.

"The final set of answers are: Leon Kennedy, Chris Redfield and Claire Redfield. The question: which of these has starred in the most unique Resident Evil games to date." Shadow stated, "To clarify, the answer is the character who has starred in the most number of Resident Evil games which are not remakes. One of you will win and get to walk away with your life. The others will fall into the spike pit. Alexia, you're answer please?"

"Chris Redfield." Alexia answered.

"Alfred, you're answer?"

"Claire Redfield." Alfred answered. Now it was Wesker's turn.

"Leon Kennedy." Wesker answered. Shadow smiled as they took their places over three trap doors.

"One answer is correct. Two are not. I will reveal the correct answer in five." Shadow started the countdown for the final time. Wesker hoped that it would be the last time he would ever have to hear someone count so slowly. "Four." Wesker looked at the Ashford twins, who were both screwing up their eyes. "Three." Wesker figured it was hard for them. Either they would both die, or one would die, leaving the other as a survivor to carry on without their twin. "Two." More for their sake than his own, Wesker wished that he had the correct answer, to save the twins from the horror of having to live on without their sibling. "One." Wesker stared at the setting sun through his glasses. "Right answer." Wesker closed his eyes, ready for the plunge. "Leon Kennedy." Wesker listened as the two trapdoors on either side of him opened and the Ashfords screamed their way down to their demise. "Congratulations Wesker, you have won your life." Shadow declared, walking towards him, "What are you going to do now?" Wesker stared at Shadow for a second, making up his mind.

"REVENGE!" Wesker shouted, grabbing Shadow's wrist and jumping off the platform, pulling Shadow with him. Shadow screamed as he fell. For Wesker's part, he stayed silent, staring at the sun as he fell, closing his eyes just before he hit. The image of the setting sun was the last thing on Wesker's mind.

_AN: As stated in the disclaimer, this was inspired by the BBC show '101 Ways To Leave A Gameshow' after I watched it and imagined RE characters going through it and then thinking of what it would be like if instead of just losing, they died as well. Rate and review, please._


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